No matter how much time I have to get ready for a night out, I'm always on the last minute. Things are going well until there's a sudden ground rush. There's 15 minutes left, I still haven't straightened my hair and it's not quite dry yet anyway so I know that's a waste of time . My make up isn't done and I KNOW that tonight's the night that the grey eyeshadow will settle just above my cheeks making an already challenged under eye area ,look like those of a plague victim.
Oh, and I'm sure to poke myself in the eye with the mascara and decide, perversely to try, yet again, to apply my Ruby Woo lipstick, with the usual failure rate. ( Why is it that "Ruby Woo " is Mac's top shade??? It's soooo hard and unforgiving and I end up looking like a porky Copelia ! )
Recognise that scenario ?? Well, this blog is for just such a night. No time to start being clever and coming up with a dazzling and innovative combo but DEFINITELY NOT the time to throw on your usual ' bright ' top and black bootleg slacks. No!! Why is it that that is the fall back for us Ladies of a certain age? It's not big and it's not clever. So stop now!
By all means stick with black on your bottom half. All the following tops will work with what you've got- skinny jeans, cigarette pants, flares, pencil skirt, culottes, pleather leggings....the list goes on. If you don't already possess one, a thick jersey skirt is always a great option to dress from so I definitely suggest you invest in one. Probably not a dirndl though. Definitely not.
All the tops are all grab and go. No bra strap problems, no issue with control pants as they all cover our tummy curve- all you will need to do is either throw on a statement necklace with the plain ones or just grab your bag and get the h**l out. Quick, before another child asks another question !!
To begin then....
I hesitated whether or not to lead with this one but, what the heck, Christmas is round the corner and if you can't go mad with the glitter now, when can you ?
This top was featured in Vogue and is a regular sell out. The casual polo neck style counterbalances the sparkle so it manages to look stylish and ironic rather than try hard. It's lined with a layer of jersey which prevents the sequins scratching and , in fact, the neck is more of a mandarin collar than a true polo. A much better idea as it avoids the inclination I always have to claw the fabric away from my throat as the evening wears on. Or maybe that's just the conversation.
My other blingtacular option for those of you who, like me , would really like to wear the contents of a Quality Street Tin if possible, or at least to live a while in its riot of shiny colours, is this number from New Look.
Yes, it only just squeaks in on the body length but you can always hunch forward a bit. It will be worth it. Yum. With a black blazer . The business.
Next Asymmetric Sparkle Sweater £32
This shape is brilliant and epitomises smart casual. It's a fine knit polyester/ linen blend and the beads and embroidery lift it from the ordinary.
H&M Chiffon Blouse £24.99
In Black
I'm not generally a fan of bright tops with black bottoms .There's something about this red chiffon blouse which made me make an exception. I think it's the cut - dipping down at the back and sporting a deep frill at the front which is echoed in the elasticated frill at the wrist. I love the hang and the generosity of the fabric, even the subtle metallic print. Must stop myself pressing " Add to basket " and move on.
Final word on this one though. With the wrong bottom half this flirts with frumpy. If you're brave, I'd suggest teaming with wide culottes or cropped, wide leg trousers. Just a thought !
Love the simplicity of this V Neck, sequin panel shirt from Mango which comes in both black and cream. Understated elegance and something which will easily pay for itself over time.
In complete contrast, there's loads going on in this top from M&S. Per Una is such a weird brand. It includes the very worst there can be - awful, scratchy, stretchy tops, with clunky inserts and dowdy jersey dresses , in colours which hurt your eyes and patterns which can only have been inspired by a migraine, to real gems like this one. Rather randomly it makes me think of a Imperial Russia but I have just downed yet another Zolmatriptan so I may be misguided.
The photo suggests a coffee colour but, in real life, as the Reception children say, it is closer to black. This would make a brilliantly smart but sexy outfit, paired with a pleather skirt, or would be a great juxtaposition with jeans.
M&S Per Una Sequinned Embellished Mesh Top £39.50 ( now £27.65 )
Less flash but equally full of punch, is this lace blouse. Perfect for a part in " Penny Dreadful " or just about anywhere you care to go. I'm just being mean because it's sold out in my size!
M&S Collection Tie Neck Lace Blouse £35 ( now £24.50 )
Back to the bling with this one. The model makes it look really cool but it is another one which you'll need to be careful how you style. This needs a slim bottom half to balance the wider hem. I don't mean YOU need a slim bottom half, just that the cut needs to be fitted.
If you're not keen on your upper arms then this style is not for you. What it might reveal in one department it artfully conceals in another though. Provided you have an elasticated waist, you're going to be able to munch as much as you like in this one and no one will be the wiser. I reckon you could secrete an entire Christmas pud there if you tried....
Limited Edition at M&S £35 ( now £24.50 )
No such scope with this jumper though. It needs to be fitted but not too tight round the middle or you will have gone over to the FS ( Frump Side ) before you can say ' Edinburgh Woollen Mill '!
Autograph at M&S £59 ( now £41.30 )
Never any danger of Mutton dressed as Mutton in Zara, thank goodness. If you only had one shop to go to, and needed a top, make it this one. Because it's a Spanish company and their Women are generally smaller than we British Amazons, it might mean you need to size up. Sadly in order to accommodate our more ample chests, this can result in ape length sleeves. I've found that moving the button on the cuff, to tighten it, often solves the problem.
This is a simple shape made feminine and delicate by the addition of the lace insert into the neckline and by the deep lace frill at the hemline. No worrying about gaping buttons, just a style which can be slipped on and forgotten about.
The same can ( almost ) be said of the lace blouse below. The detailing - the central lace panel which is echoed on the shoulders, the sheer and block fabric stripes at the front , again, cleverly echoed on the shirt sleeves, makes it look far more expensive than it is. It's a beautiful, luxe blouse and epitomises Zara's strength of style .
The only caveat is that I promised tops which needed little thought of underwear. If you're ok with it, I'd suggest a black bra and brazen out the sheerness or, if you're feeling shy, a skin tone one.
How about this one for inspired design ? It is sophisticated and interesting with all the focus on the drape of the fabric rather than shouting for attention with fancy beadwork. It would easily work as an office to event shirt. Just add a statement necklace and cuff. No brainer.
A similar vibe to the Zara draped top is this asymmetric one from New Look. Made from a soft touch fabric it offers more movement.Again, the visual impact is provided by the fabric itself and the generous fluid folds which drop from the shoulder seam.
I haven't yet worn this blouse . I bought it to attend a graduation ceremony but in the end chose something else. I needed to move the button on this one so that the sleeves don't cover my knuckles, taking me back in time to a me I'd rather forget. Oh yes, I can move a button, there's no end to my talents !
I'm looking forward to wearing it and know it's going to be perfect for all the drinks 'do's and Christmas gatherings I'm ( not ) going to this year. I'm sure the invitations will begin to roll in any day now and I will now, of course, be prepared. Even at the last minute !
So. Plenty of options and, although I had Christmas outings in mind, with the possible exception of the sequinned polo neck, these can be pulled out throughout the year to rescue you when there's no time for wardrobe reflection.
Knowing you have an outfit which works means you'll avoid coming home, pleasantly mellow, and come crashing back to earth when you contemplate the pile of discarded clothes on the bedroom floor together with the war zone which is the bathroom. Nothing like rolling your sleeves up for housework to kill any nascent passion. So, who knows what other advantages a great top might bring ? !
As a kind of post script ,back to the question of why there's never enough time though. Despite the grumblings of my Husband , it's never because I actually started the getting ready process too late. No Sir. Getting ready invariably has to be fitted around supervising a teenager's tea .Although often top in English , such literary skills do not extend to being able to translate the instructions on the back of an M&S Ready Meal ! The same probably applies to the recent Graduate who currently resides chez Moi.
Also, am I really the only person who can feed the dog ? Or find boxer shorts in the tumble dryer, or wipe the debris from enthusiastic flossing off the bathroom mirror ? Or who know as how to use Toilet Duck ?? Or answer the door to the lovely but chatty who walks from Ilkley to Leeds with a pushchair for Children in Need ? Surely not. But in that precious hour before departure, it seems that I am.
If you are faced with such distractions, and I know you are in one form or another, I hope this blog buys you a few precious minutes. If only to sit in peace behind a locked bathroom door .
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